Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All I want is dick and wine.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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