i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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