I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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