I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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