White coat. Heels.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
