Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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