2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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