At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
