it's great music for shaving your balls
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
