shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
