I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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