Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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