I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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