Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
