I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
