Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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