Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
