HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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