ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize