I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
