i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
