Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
