i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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