That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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