Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
