It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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