my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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