therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
