this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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