Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
