I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
