Dual....:-)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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