So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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