Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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