You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
