Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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