Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
