I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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