He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The uberlube is also flammable
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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