Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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