Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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