Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
