When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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