Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
