Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
