I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize