i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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