did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
