____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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