Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
did you get engaged???
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize