Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
