ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
