My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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