Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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