Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have tasted many bathrooms
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
