He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
