Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
