I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
