please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
