Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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