I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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