Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Girls should come with a carfax report
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
