it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Less talking, more tequila
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
