Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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(806): View more from Texas

Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..

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(406): View more from Montana

He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?

Fav 9 2550 921
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.

Fav 3 455 573
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(940): View more from Texas

After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.

Fav 2 12 51
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