I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
